Monday, 30 June 2014

My Journey To Confidence

This image bellow represents me at my most confident. When I did my recent photoshoot with Chiara Aprea I was sceptical, nervous and felt pretty uncomfortable with my lack of dress. She not only pushed me to take the risk and have fun with the camera, reminding me that I could always delete any images I didn't like.
I was able to see myself in a way I hadn't previously when I saw the final images. I felt sexy, chic and most important...CONFIDENT!

Hair and MUA and photography by Aprea Chiara
Styling by Chiara and myself.
Please do not copy or edit any images without permission from model and photographer.

Many of you know how I feel about confidence and how important I think it is to have some. Looking back I honestly think that my passion for confidence stems from the fact that until quite recently I really lacked in that area. Those who know me personally may argue with that fact because I'm outspoken, I find it easy to talk to people and I make friends easily. Having said all of that I like many women (not just plus size women) would hide in my clothes and do my utmost to blend into the background and not been seen. 

It was a little over a year ago that I got fed up with trying to be in the background like a sheet of wallpaper and so I decided to venture out and put myself through my paces and really work hard to be bold! I scoured the internet looking for bright and edgy clothes for plus size women and decided that as I was only 25 at the time I really needed to live a little and not be so scared to be seen.

I played around with my clothes, met loads of other amazing plus size women and really started to be able to look in the mirror and not only accept what was staring back at me...I actually liked what I saw! After meeting the lovely Anita Bellamy and hearing her tales of modelling as a plus woman and her passion about confidence; I not only realised that I had made a good friend, I had met someone who saw confidence just as I did. Being at the Definition Of Size Art Exhibition last October led me to open my eyes even further...

I would never have been seen in an outfit like this one before, now I have more bright and bold colours in my wardrobe than I do black items!

I believe that everyone has the right to feel amazing in their own skin, look good and should be able to walk with their held high regardless of what other people think. The most important opinion you can hold is that of yourself! The one person you will have to deal with every single day of your life is you! If you are able to find an element of confidence many things in your life will change for the better. 

Since I have found an inner confidence I take more risks with my personal style, break the rules I had previously set myself and in turn I feel so much better for it! I have made some amazing friends this past year and I am still pushing myself to be even more confident within myself. I think that when your esteem is in the floor it's all too easy to abuse yourself mentally, physically and emotionally. When you take pride in yourself you will want to better yourself in as many ways as possible and I believe that your luck will start to change. A positive outlook can only improve things, it has for me!

We need to build each other up and try to find the beauty in all of us. It might be the way you speak, the way you treat a person, the twinkle in your eye or your smile.
Beauty is everywhere it's not that hard to look for it either! Just make the best of what you have and let it shine!

No matter what you do try and do it with a smile!

What confidence is to those of us involved with Plus Confidence:


                                                  C- How CAPTIVATING we are 
                                                  O- How OUTSTANDING we are 
                                                  N- How NORMAL we are
                                                  F- How FABULOUS we are
                                                  I- How INSPIRATIONAL we are
                                                  D- How DIVINE we are
                                                  E- How EMPATHETIC we are
                                                  N- How NICE we are 
                                                  C- How CALM we are
                                                  E- How EDUCATED

If you would like to get involed with Plus confidence check us out here
For more information on the Definition Of Size Exhibition click here


  1. love that first picture, especially the angle and turban

    1. Thanks hun I really appreciate the compliment. I was so nervous taking that pic as all I was wearing was that sheer sheet and my underware!

  2. This is a lovely post! I know (after reading about your bullying) how much you've been through, and for you to have moved past all that to be a confident woman is amazing. You should be really proud of yourself. You're an inspiration. x x

    1. Thanks Leah that's such a lovely thing to say. I'm trying I still have a long way to go but I have come a major way so far. Thank you xxx

  3. Love your post babe, I really want a pro photo shoot the pics are gorgeous. X

    1. Thanks Lucia that's really sweet! You should so do it!! You'd look gorgeous! Xx

  4. I love your photos Mayah you always look fabulous xx

    1. Thanks Nikki x I try to look as good as I can of course I have my off days like everyone else lol :) xx

  5. You already know I love your photoshoot pictures! You look amazing in all these pics babe and reading about your journey just makes me think you are even more awesome. Like you I have always been crazy outspoken and chatty so people dont realise that doesn't mean that everything about you is confident. I am still in my journey but reading posts like this make me step a little further in <3 xx

    1. Thanks for such a sweet message Hun. I spent years hating the way I look and I think it stems from my child and teen years of being bullied. I still have a lot of work to do but I'm at the stage where I just don't care anymore I'm trying to do what I can to make myself look and feel better and I honestly feel so much better for it x

      I hope you manage to get to where you wanna be. The journey on the way can be a fun one too x